A Guide to the Good Life - Johannes Holmberg

#Reading log

2019-05-09: Probably the best introduction on Stoicism that I’ve read. Well structured, objective, and with good background information on the most important characters in Stoic history. Together with the works of Ryan Holiday, this book makes Stoicism accessible.

**2021-06-24:** I’m currently rereading this again. But the book doesn’t speak to me the same way it used to. May it be because I’ve already incorporated a lot of the concepts in it? When I read it the first time the ideas were novel to me and I was excited to try them out. A couple of years later I think they have turned into practice. Maybe that’s the reason?

#Things to consider

Keep in mind that “all things everywhere are perishable.”
You need techniques and strategies for how you form your thoughts.
There are two principal sources of human unhappiness: Our insatiability. And our tendency to worry about things beyond our control.

#A philosophy of life

Your philosophy is what you know, how you hold what you know, and how it affects what you do. You can look at your actions and trace back, through the attitudes behind those actions, to what your philosophy is behind the attitudes. A positive philosophy turns into a positive attitude, which turns into positive actions, which turns into positive results, which turns into a positive lifestyle. A positive life. A philosophy of life has two components: They tell us what things in life are and aren’t worth pursuing. And they tell us how to gain the things that are worth having.

#Hedonic adaptation

Hedonism—The pursuit of pleasure and sensual self-indulgence. We humans are unhappy in large part because we are insatiable. After getting what we desire, rather than feeling satisfied, we feel a bit bored and then go on to form even grander desires. After fulfilling our desire for something, we adapt to its presence in our life and as a result—stop desiring it. And we end up just as dissatisfied as we were before fulfilling the desire. We need a technique for creating in ourselves a desire for the things we already have. The easiest way to happiness is to learn how to want the things you already have. The trick is to put this knowledge into practice in our life. An antidote to hedonic adaptation is using negative visualization.

#Maintain tranquility

The primary reason to study Stoicism is so we can put it into practice. And the primary goal of Stoicism is to maintain tranquility. The tranquility you ought to seek is not the kind that might be brought on by ingestion of a tranquilizer — it is not a zombie-like state. It’s instead a state marked by the absence of negative emotions. When practicing Stoicism you have to become a more thoughtful observer of your own life. Remember that there are costs associated with not having a philosophy of life. Our evolutionary ancestors benefited from wanting more of everything, which is why we today have this tendency. But if we do not take steps to bridle it, it will disrupt our tranquility. Use your intellect to overcome your tendency toward insatiability.

#Bedtime meditation

The bedtime meditation the Stoics recommends is utterly unlike the meditation of Zen Buddhism. While a Zen Buddhist’s goal is to empty his mind, a Stoics mind will be quite active during bedtime meditation. He will reflect about the events of the day. At bedtime ask yourself the following questions: What ailment of yours have you cured today? What failing have you resisted? Where can you show improvement?

#Making progress as a Stoic

A sign of progress in our practice of Stoicism is that our philosophy will consist of actions rather than words. But the most important sign that we are making progress as Stoics will be that we find ourselves experiencing fewer negative emotions. We will also spend less time wishing things were different and more time enjoying things as they are.

Be consistent in your indifference to social status. Be dismissive of both approval and disapproval from other people. Being indifferent to other people’s opinions of you will improve the quality of your life.

#Be aware of seeksorrowers

Avoid people “who is always upset and bemoans everything.” These individuals are what Samuel Johnson calls seeksorrowers “one who contrived to give himself vexation.” Be selective in the social duties you have to perform.

#Different types of desires

There is a danger that if we are exposed to a luxurious lifestyle, we will lose our ability to enjoy the simple things. Desire for luxuries is not a natural desire. Natural desires, such as desire for water when we are thirsty, can be satisfied—unnatural desires cannot. If you have a philosophy of life, decision making is relatively straightforward. In the absence of a philosophy of life, even simple choices can degenerate into meaning-of-life crises. It is hard to know what to choose when you aren’t really sure what you want.

#Don’t be a victim

It’s not helpful to consider yourself a victim of society. If you consider yourself a victim, you are not going to have a good life. It is only when you assume responsibility for your own happiness that you will have a reasonable chance of gaining it.

#Voluntary discomfort

Voluntary discomfort acts as a kind of vaccine. By periodically practicing poverty, hunger, and cold it helps harden yourself against the blows that will fall on you in the future. A person who periodically experiences minor discomforts will grow confident that he can withstand major discomforts as well. So the prospect of experiencing such discomforts will not cause him anxiety. Voluntary discomfort will also be beneficial to appreciate what you already have. By going without it for some time, you would value it more when you get it back.

#How to deal with insults

A strategy for removing the sting of an insult is to pause, and consider whether what the insulted said is true. And if it is true, there is little reason to be upset. Why is it an insult to be told what is self-evident? Also consider who is insulting you? If it’s someone you respect, and you value his opinions, he could give you great insight in what you’re doing. But if it’s someone contemptible with low values, you should feel relieved that he’s disapproving of what you’re doing. Then you are doubtlessly doing something right.

Considering the sources of insults and you will find that those who insults can best be described as overgrown children.

Remember that:

…another person cannot do you harm unless you wish it. You will only be harmed at that time which you take yourself to be harmed.
…you can use humor to deflect insults.
…refusing to respond to insults is, paradoxically, one of the most effective responses possible.
Ask yourself: “Does things which happens to me help me or harm me?”
It all depends on your values. And your values are things which you have complete control over.

#Minimize your anger

Anger is a form of “brief insanity” and the damage done from it is enormous. Being angry is a waste of precious time. Minimize the amount of anger you experience. It will only do you harm. When you start losing your temper, remember: there’s nothing manly about rage. Kindness is what defines a human being. Getting angry is something everyone can do. Anger and grief can do much more than the things that cause them. By allowing yourself to get angry over little things, you take what might have been a barely noticeable disruption of your day and transform it into a tranquility-shattering state of agitation.

Laughter is always the right response to things which drives you mad. That way you can always think of bad events happening as funny rather than outrageous.
By admitting your mistakes, you lessen the chance that you will make them again in the future.

A constantly angry person will be a torment to the people around her. Why not instead make yourself a person to be loved by all while you live, and missed when you’re gone? Anger is anti-joy and can ruin your life if you let it.